right now . . .

Sam: 2 years 4 months and 18 days
loves: freezy pops (who doesn't?!), his yellow fireman rain boots, Horton Hears a Who movie, helping mama cook, saying prayers before nap especially since that tends to delay the actual napping part, playing tricks, sneaking up on mama in the shower with his camera (aka his "cheese") and taking pictures while shouting "HINEY! HINEY!"
hates: having the water poured over his head while in the tub, going with out a shirt (although he will rock a pants-less outfit from time to time), leaving "Pop's house"

Boden: 10 weeks 6 days
loves: boobs, pooping, smiling at mama and dada, hearing his brothers voice
hates: reflux

I've been getting the chills lately. For no reason I'll just start to shiver out of nowhere. It lasts for less than one second and it always brings an unplanned smile to my face. It happens often enough for me to notice somethings going on. No I don't think there is some kind of weird medical issue. I really think it's waves of happiness. After having Bo, the hormonal mess I am during pregnancy continued. They are still there, the hormones, but they seem to be relatively under control. I feel less crazy. I feel closer to what normal feels like. I feel happy. For the last few weeks, months even, I don't think I've really appreciated all I have. And since Bo was born, I've been wrapped up in all the craziness that comes with staying home with a two year old boy and a newborn baby. Don't get me wrong, that craziness is still here. I refer to our house as "crazy town" all the time and I think it's fairly accurate. Even with a baby as chill as Bo, it's still a lot to manage. Especially when I'm trying to keep up with my photography business. And for a while I assumed it was my just not being able to handle it. But I realize that there's nothing wrong with me. It just really is hard. And I'll figure it out whenever I figure it out, or maybe I won't at all, but either way, we'll all be fine. We'll all still laugh at Sam and smile at Bo and cheers our grilled cheese sandwiches with friends and clap and say "YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!" when we pull into Grandma and Grandpa's driveway or talk to GiGi on the phone. Even on a hard day, there are still 1,000 opportunities to smile and laugh with Sam and Bo around. It doesn't get much better than that.

So the chills. I think it really is happiness. It's that feeling of overwhelming love. They happen because it's either that or uncontrollably shouting at the top of my lungs "Holy crap I love these boys!" And if I shout, then Sam shouts, and since we already live in crazy town I'd like to not make it any crazier if I can help it.

So here's to chills. Here's to shouting. Here's to crazy town.
Cheers.

Maija.                                Sam.

Sam and Maija making out. Again.

Sam loves to pick the pears from our tree. 

Party of Five

Tonight we went to the Ironbirds game. Sam and Bo's first baseball game and our first real outing as a family of 4. Cotton candy, hot dogs, some aisle dancing. We all had fun.

At one point I looked up toward the score board and saw these "Henry clouds". And I knew we were actually there as a family of 5.

Hitting the Pause Button

When we found out we were having another baby, I think my fear outweighed my excitement. I couldn't truly be excited while thinking about the fact that I was going to be outnumbered, overpowered, and overwhelmed. And all of those things came true. I am for sure outnumbered. Two boys all day long. Two diaper pails. Two sets of needs that overpower my own. Two different cries demanding attention. Two car seats to wrangle in. Two boys in the bathroom with me. Two of everything. As little time I had to myself before Bo, I now have virtually none.

But that excitement that was stalled, came back in full force. I fell in love a little bit more with Bo yesterday as I watched him coo and smile purposefully for the first time. We are completely blessed with another baby who loves to sleep and rarely cries. But with those eyes shut all the time, I don't really know what he looks like with them open! I exaggerate a bit (surprise, surprise), but his alert times are so much more fun. To see those big eyes look at me, and now smile?! Consider my heart officially melted.

I forgot how fun these little daily changes are. It feels like it was so long ago when Sam was doing these things. Two years fly by. It must be that our life is just that much fun. Because time is most definitely flying. My whole life I wished I was older with a family of my own and now all I want to do is hit that pause button. Everything is happening so fast and I am just standing in the middle of the tornado with my eyebrows up and mouth open. I guess thats what my camera is for. Pushing that shutter is like hitting a pause button. I might have less time now to do these things I love like blogging, but I'm still taking photos. I'm still pausing everyday so that one day when I finally have that time to myself and I realize all I want is to be busy with my boys, I can look back. Remember this chaos. Remember the days where there was no time for a shower. Where I said yes to that second popsicle. Where we danced to silly songs while jumping on the bed. Where we sat side by side on the garage floor taking turns blowing bubbles or chasing ants.

So here are my favorite moments I paused in the last few weeks.

Bo is 5 and 6 weeks here. 

the majority of my days look a LOT like that right photo

ha...mid-sneeze :)

One Month

Hi. I'm Boden. Some people call me Bo. My brother calls me Baby. Mama calls me Sam a lot. Today I'm one month old.
I'm 10 pounds. On the dot. I'm 23.5" long today. I think I'm lanky, at least thats what Mama tells me.
I sleep. A lot. Mama doesn't like to brag about that because she doesn't think its normal. I also puke a lot. I'm pretty good at it and can get some distance on it when I really try. I hated hoopies until yesterday. They made me gag, but now I think they're okay so I'll keep them in for 30 seconds and then spit them out so Mama has to put it back in when I get mad.
I love my big brother even though he's pretty loud sometimes. He likes to hold my hand and he wipes my mouth when I spit up. I don't really know much about Daisy yet. I know she sheds because I can always feel hair in my mouth which grosses Mama out.
I have ridiculous toes. They are probably longer than my fingers.
I'm pretty handsome too.