The Name Game

Great. Thanks a lot Beyonce. Now I can't name my son Green because I'll seem trendy going with the color thing because you had to go and name your baby Blue. Now I'm screwed. I could have even gone with Blue myself. Blue Boyer. I could say "you're my boy, Blue!!" all day. And Beyonce and Jay-Z had to take that from me.

I think it would be easier to name a baby if I were a celebrity. You can get away with some crazy shit. Pilot Inspektor? Taken. Moon Unit?? Taken. Bronx Mowgli? Taken. Zuma? Zowie? Arpad? Speck Wildhorse?? All taken. I could just blindly point to a few letters in the alphabet and create a new "American" name. I could pick a name and put a lowercase i in front of it in honor of Steve Jobs? iPaul. Has a nice ring, no?

By the third time around, thinking of another boy name is pretty hard. With Henry, it was frustrating. I merely suggested Henry Philip once to Phil and he held on to that name with a kung-fu grip. He untimely "won" the name battle, and in the end, it was perfect. With Sam, We knew we wanted the middle name to be Henry. So that knocked out a few names that didn't go with it. We tossed around some names, and almost every name I suggested - Phil hated. But in all fairness, every name Phil suggested made me gag. We're a little opposite. Samuel was on the suggestion list the first time around and of course Phil hated it because it wasn't Henry. But then I showed him what it meant, and he was turned. And then clutched on to that name with the afore-mentioned grip.

So now I've found a name I like. Finally. I know I have time. I know I might change my mind in some crazy pregnancy induced mania over the next 19 weeks. But I saw it, remembered it from a list I'd made in the past, and thought "that's it". And there is no "k" in place of a "c". No hyphens or apostrophes. It's not a color in the rainbow.

Now all I have to do is convince Phil. Because I've got a kung-fu grip too. That and you just don't mess with a grumpy pregnant lady who has made up her mind. She thinks.

Gone By in a Blur

This is what i remember from this past Christmas weekend.

My weekend is about as blurry as this shot of our Christmas tree.

Christmas always makes me think back to Christmases of the past . . . Even way back to when I was a kid. There is a traumatic story about why I really don't like laundry and finding out the "Christmas Secret", but I'll save that so I don't ruin anyone else's Christmas.

I obviously take a lot of photos, not necessarily more than any other mom or camera fanatic, but during the holidays, I try not to overdo it. I want to be present, not just capturing it through my camera. I definitely still got some funny shots, which help to remember all the things that happened over the last few days. So many places, so many people, so many cookies, so many fits, so many boogie wipes, so much wrapping paper hopefully recycled. It's always a lot packed in to a short amount of time. But it's always worth it. Once again things will be different next year. Just like last year we knew Christmas would be different with Sam this year. It's always seemingly the same, but the little things are different. So even though I didn't get 100 shots of Sam opening his many many presents, I got a enough to look back and remember, "Oh yeah, this is the last Christmas before [insert baby #2's name here later] was born." And as each year gets better with more and more joy, I can only sit here excited for next year as I smile at the memories these photos already bring.

Happy Christmas.

Wow. It's Christmas Eve. How did that happen? All the sudden my world and brain slowed back to normal human speed from the alien rate it has been going for several months. And suddenly it's almost another year, I'm halfway through pregnancy #3 and I'm left puzzled. What the hell happened to the last few months??!

Being pregnant again has definitely stunted my brain function and having the busiest season ever with my photography business has demanded that it function properly, if not at a higher rate. So exhaustion set in and I feel like something else took over to get me through it since September. I'm not sure what; it's all a little fuzzy.

It doesn't really matter what or how, but what mattes is that I am starting to feel awake. The shock of how fast time goes is still very present. But it's Christmas Eve. One of the days I look most forward to all year. We had our little Boyer family Christmas this morning. Whether Sam had his mouth wide open because he was in awe or because he can't breathe through his nose it doesn't matter. The face was priceless either way. I'm warm, happy, and proud. Our little expanding family being together with blueberry pancakes this morning was all the present I needed. And Booger (my nickname for this baby) was just as involved in the morning with the Christmas jig performance after each bite of breakfast I took.

I hope each if you is lucky enough to feel as blessed and happy as I do right this very moment.
Happy Christmas.

Sam on Christmas Eve morning...already stealing Daisy's toy.

my 19 week belly...

Light at the end of the tunnel??? Could it be?

I did it. I scheduled an induction for Tuesday(3/9) at 7am. I don't feel as guilty about it as I thought I might. I've been progressing, but am going crazy and I mentally can't take being pregnant any longer. Since I'll be 39 weeks on Saturday, Bubba is healthy full term and fully developed. I would have scheduled it for Monday but it was booked. I would have done it today but that wasn't an option! So unless Bubba takes my advice and comes earlier, I'm looking right at the longest 4 1/2 days of my life. I predict I'll be spending a lot of time with pay per view movies and working on marketing materials for the business.

I wonder if I really need to add the induction to my outlook calendar? I doubt I'll need the standard 15 minute appointment reminder, but hey - you never know.

Dear Bubba

Dear Bubba,
Thank you for still moving around like a banchee letting me know you are ok in there. Can you try to make these movements a bit more productive? The big bubble of water you are in? Go ahead and punch right through that. It's ok, Mommy won't be mad at you for breaking something. I want to meet you very badly and if you break the bubble, we can see each other very soon! It's fun out here and I think you would like it. I know you are comfy and snug in there, but I will make sure you are both of those things and more out here. Mommy's going a teensy bit crazy being pregnant for 21 months and would love to have a break.
I love you very much and I hope to meet you soon.
Love,
Mommy

We're still here...

So It's been a few weeks since the last post. Frankly there wasn't much to write about except for all of the bitching I would do about all the discomfort!

In a quick wrap up - Dr appointments every week, hips are sore, heartburn never ending, Bubba is on the LARGE side, my last day of work was the 19th, more hip pain and heartburn, lots of intense kicks and punches, cramping and pressure everyday, peeing every few hours especially in the middle of the night.
Thats what you've been missing! All good things though really.

We are about to hit some milestones that I've been dreading a bit. Yesterday's dr appointment was my "37 week" appt. Im 38 weeks tomorrow. My 37 week appointment with Henry was the same scenerio 37 weeks 5 days. That appointment was the last time we heard Henry's heartbeat. So at the appointment yesterday, I had my usual non-stress test. Bubba was NOT cooperating. He was moving like a banchee, kicking the monitor off whack and so the reading after the standard 20 minutes was not consistent. I stayed on for about another 20 minutes, and I didn't see a difference in the heart rate pattern, but the Dr said it was better and that everything was fine. Obviously something like that left me a bit uneasy - even more so because of the significance of the appointment date. I know they would not have let me go or said it was fine if it wasn't...they take good care of us there.

Saturday, tomorrow, is another day significant day to get through. We found out about Henry at my appointment at 38 weeks 5 days. They think he died several days before then. Looking back, I think he died the Saturday night before- the day I turned 38 weeks. That day this time is tomorrow. I have an awesome day filled with lovely distractions, lunch mani pedi day with my mom sisters and girls, but it still might be tough.

The amount of pressure I have and the cramping leads meto believe (probably ignorantly and incorrectly) that Bubba is getting really ready to come out. Lets hope so. He's good and strong in there, he's full term, we are so close and completely ready for him to be here. I would LOVE for him to come on his own and I would LOVE it even more if he would come out before next Thursday. That appointment is one of dread and anxiety, things I have been lucky to escape thus far in my pregnancy knowing they would creep up at some point.

We can get through it. I will survive the next few weeks no matter how trying. I will also survive the heartburn and mountains of Tums I go through daily and the pain in my hips, back, and heart.

But really Bubba, be good to Mommy. If you aren't ready to come out, make sure that you let Mommy know you are ok in there by giving her a good kick in the ribs or something. You have permission.

NST Follow Up

Just a follow upon yesterday's NST- everything went well. I'll have one every week just to be super cautious, which I appreciate. His heart rate was great and he's been flipping around in there side to side nice and healthy.

The doctor said something today that I knew but I hadn't heard anyone say yet. She said that "we missed Henry being tiny". Henry was born 4lb 8 oz and 39 weeks. I had attributed it to atrophy because I thought it had probably been a few days in between an accident happening and us finding out. That part still might be true, but to think that 2-3 pounds atrophied is just not realistic. Henry was tiny. Now that I know what it feels like to carry a healthy baby boy in my belly I understand why I feel like such crap. Every feeling, every kick, every little thing (except for this nasty heartburn) is different this pregnancy. I have been telling myself that different is a good thing. And it really is.

But now I realize why last time I thought I was small, and why I could run up the stairs with little trouble, and why I didn't getup to pee in the middle of the night very much. I look back at this post and laugh at the very last sentence "...I dont think it could get bigger." Ha! Well, in my defense, I had no idea! And 1 day away from 35 weeks I really do believe that I couldn't get any bigger. But I now know better as Bubba is probably going to gain 2-3 pounds before he comes into this world and he is already close to 5 1/2 lbs. Oh it's going to get bigger all right. And, I'm sorry Phil, but I'm only going to get more uncomfortable! But he will be here soon. And I am so ready to meet him. More ready for this than anything else in my life.

Bubba's NST

I think the people who have the power to do such things should seriously consider re-naming the "Non-Stress Test". I found out today that I am having one tomorrow at my routine OB appointment and I've been stressed ever since! I think I'm worried about it because I didn't have time to mentally prepare. I need to have a talk with Bubba to make sure he does what he is supposed to do so that no one has any reason to worry.

He has been pretty entertaining this week though. He's had the hiccups a few times which I enjoy for some weird reason. I think I like it when he has them because they don't hurt me like his punches and kicks but I'm still reminded that he's in there and doing ok.

Every night when I go to lay down on my aching left side, he gets comfy and starts to punch. Without fail, as soon as I start to breathe calmly as I'm going to sleep, he takes his opportunity to get rowdy! I don't mind. I do mind when he does it so much in the middle of the night that it wakes me up and I can't go back to sleep.

I'm starting to feel the anxiety that I knew would come. I'm now 34 1/2 weeks and the end is near. I'm getting anxious about him getting here. The entirety of this pregnancy I've been pretty good with handling all of the emotions that come and go because of what happened to Henry. But I knew that everything might change the closer we got to Bubba's due date. I'm not worried that the same thing will happen to Bubba. I'm actually not worried about that at all. I know he is doing well in there. Part of my anxiety comes from being pregnant for so flipping long. All in all it will be 20 months straight with a short 2 month break and I'm ready to finally have my baby boy in my arms. And my body is definitely ready to find normalcy again. Part of it also comes because I worry about what it will be like when he does get here. Will I fall apart when I realize what I lost when Henry died? I will finally know what it is like to have a baby, my baby, to take care of. Will that remind me of what it should have been like last spring? It's all so unclear. Impossible to predict. I don't know how to prepare for all that is to come if I don't know whats coming. I know we'll get through it and Bubba will be here, healthy and probably ornery, soon.

There's a full moon on February 28. It's a Sunday. I'll be 38 weeks. Lets all pray he decides to come then! And pray the NST tomorrow goes well so I can go back to non-stress-ing.

Karma

What comes around goes around.

Seriously? I think I used to believe this. Or I at least used to tell myself that it was true to make myself feel better when someone did something crappy to me. But I'm starting to think the saying is nothing more than a lie we tell ourselves in that situation. Because I really don't think Phil or I had any of this coming to us.

You've heard me talk (bitch) about our curse. And I am not one for self pity or misery. But I think I've had enough and need to vent before I can grasp how to move forward without negative energy.

I've mentioned quite a few less than fortunate things that Phil and I have made it through in the last few years -some more traumatic than others. But with the recent car accident (Phil had one this week) I'm beginning to get fed up. The cab driver who hit Phil is filing a personal injury claim against us that we may or may not have enough insurance to cover. Mind you, this is the same cab driver who immediately after the accident, ran out of his car running down the street trying to solicit "witnesses" that he would "hook up" if they "testify for him". Clearly this personal injury didn't effect his ability to jog, sprint, scam, flail his arms or move any part of his body. In the past, this is one of those situations where I could have said "what goes around comes around", this guy was a jerk trying to screw us over and he would get what's coming to him one day.

But when that thought crossed my mind this time, I had to stop. Just hold on a second. What the heck did Phil and I do in our past lives to have all of this crap thrown at us? There isn't a kinder more honest person than Phil. I know I've caused a bit of chaos in the past, but I honestly don't think anything I did was destructive to anyone other than myself. I must be wrong. I must have been horrible and didn't know it. I'm sorry friends and family and random strangers. I must have really put you through the ringer. I had no idea.

Maybe I was a unibomber, murder, thief, con artist, kidnapper - something unbearably horrible in my past life? It's not completely outrageous. It just might be the only explanation.

So now that that is off my chest, I feel like I can focus on how to make it better. No one is going to come out of the woodwork and fix the things that need fixing (literally the car, the house, our spirit). So, positive thinking.... hmm. Well that's tougher than I thought right now. I might need a minute.

Oh - I've got it. Power Ball! We are SO going to win Power Ball now that it's come to Maryland! It's the light at the end of our very dark tunnel! Our train of misfortune has crashed my friends!

Wow I feel better now that the problem is solved!

As I was just now about to hit the post button and be done with this negative sarcastic post, Bubba kicked in (literally) his 2 cents. And in doing so, he reminded me that there's so much more to be positive and hopeful about. That all of the bad things are just things and just like every other time, this too shall pass. The real light at the end of our tunnel is coming on or around March 13. Bubba just now gave my spirit the kick - or punch I'm not sure which - it needed to get back on track. Our train is not full of misfortune. It is hopeful. Misfortune is getting off the next stop. So now that I think about it, please God, don't crash our train. I think it's going somewhere great, and I want to be there for every stop along the way, with Phil by my side.

Driving with your eyes crossed is NOT recommended

Yesterday was a fairly eventful day. I told my work that I didn't plan to return after the baby comes and we got a new car - new to us anyway.

The work talk went well and I feel good about it. I didn't feel right knowing I didn't plan to return and waiting until after 6 weeks to let them know leaving them high dry and angry. I have been in the scrambling position covering for people who leave and it's not fun or possible to stay sane while doing it. With Henry, I really wanted to be able to stay home, but with the economy I knew it wasn't financially possible. This time around, it still might not be financially possible, but it's too much of an emotional need for me to be home I don't know what else to do. I don't want to put more pressure on Phil than he already puts on himself, so hopefully I can keep some steady money coming in here and there from the photography business (shameless plug of the day: www.meghanboyerphotography.com).

Then last night after running around like crazy dealing with returning a rental car and picking up Phil we headed to the dealership and got a previously loved car. I love it, Phil probably thinks we got screwed since he always thinks that! I will say that I don't want to go through this car buying process again for a long time. It was really easy and simple this time, but this is my THIRD car in three and a half years and I'd like to keep it for a while. Phil thinks I go through cars like underwear but I reminded him that someone hit ME and I didn't intentionally total my car, go to the ER, freak out about the baby being ok, all just to get a different car. And last time we had to get rid of the mini because he knocked me up making me far from mini. So now that I think about it, I think it's him wanting to get new cars all the time. I'm on to him.

On top of the recent events, I am dealing with a stupid, annoying, disgusting, wintry cold. Today most of the day I worked with one eye closed because I couldn't see straight with them both open. Too much congestion and snot inside my head is making me dizzy! argh. Boy am I complainey, but really it's gross. How can I drive my new used car with crossed eyes?? And my nice clean steering wheel is going to be germapalooza.

Drink your OJ people. Fight the germ power.

2 weeks and counting

Well technically it is 1 week, 6 days, but then of course it may end up being 3 weeks. Essentially I have no control over when the Dude decides to get here, but I AM READY for him to come out. I definitely feel like its happening soon. I feel like I am 9 months pregnant – strange huh?

My last day of work was Friday and the idea was have some time before he gets here to do whatever or do nothing, which ever option I feel like. But I won’t be disappointed if he decides to interrupt my 2 weeks of “vacation” to come early! The name is not yet decided but I will bring the list of options with me to the hospital and we’ll figure it out eventually. I have it packed in my bag.

Here is the latest picture of the belly. I can’t wait to be skinny (dreaming I know) and look back at these. Oh to be able to go to Body Pump again. I somehow think that my old gym routine of 5 days a week might be hard to go back to. Phil will have to give me a few evenings to do things like that. I might go insane!

As big as I feel it is, I honestly look down sometimes and think that it was going to be bigger. Don’t get me wrong. I DONT want it to be bigger. But I imagined it would be. I honestly thought I would balance a plate on it or something. I can just use a table. I’m happy it’s not THAT big. Relatively speaking. . .

37 weeks and still no name

So we have made it to full term! Yeah! It’s really bizarre to think back to July 27th when we had out first positive pregnancy test and found out we were 4 weeks along. It’s gone so fast. And I’m sure that the next 3 weeks (roughly) are going to crawl by!

What is really bothering me now is the fact that I don’t have a name! We have (had) 2 names picked out that we were just going to decide between when we saw him. But now I am once again going back on one of them and not convinced the other one is right! Everything else is ready. Really, everything. The room, the diaper bag, the stroller, the car seat. Everything except for the most important part. Phil is annoyed because he liked the name that I now don’t, but I think that over thinking this decision is a good idea. I don’t want just any name, it has to be the perfect name and nothing is hitting me. On the random very off chance that Dude is a girl (I really hope not at this point as we had a clear pp shot on the ultrasound and I would hate to have a Jamie Lee Curtis situation), I know what I would name a girl. Go figure. Any suggestions??

And I’ll sign off with 37 week belly shots. I don’t think it could get bigger.

A new face and a bad back

So yesterday I used the gift certificate that Larisa gave me to Renew spa in Hampden for a “Mommy-to-be Skin Balancing Facial”. What the heck is that, you ask? Well, I’m not really sure, but I came out of that spa looking like this:

So I highly recommend the spa.

Ha.

But really the spa was a bit bizarre in that everything was all “natural” and organic. I had masks on my face that smelled kind of like pumpkin pie and kind of like rotten avocado all at the same time. It was definitely relaxing and I am so glad I went! Thanks Larisa!

The problem is that I really should have got a massage as I wake up every night at least 2 times due to shooting pain down my leg from my back. Awesome! I mean I usually have to pee anyway,so I’d still be getting up, but I could do without the paralyzing pain!

I had another Dr appointment today which went well. She said that Dude is doing well in there and said he didn’t feel like he was going to be a big baby. WOO HOO! That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard! I’m going to end on that high note. . .

Today is the greatest. . .

So I had a Dr. appt and she confirmed that the baby dropped and that it is indeed his butt that juts out my right side all the live long day. He is lopsided, but at least he is consistent! Also, he is very obedient already since I told him to drop and he did! What a good boy :)

That was the first great thing that happened today. And then there was Ray. My friend Russell interns with Saturday Night Live in NYC and my most favorite musician is the musical guest this Saturday, Ray Lamontagne. If you do not know Ray, you need to know Ray. He's fantastic. Well I told Russ jokingly that if he could get me tickets to the show I would name the baby after him. . . Don't worry, I didn't get tickets of course so Russell is not the baby's name. BUT Thursday is dress rehearsal day at SNL and Russ called me to let me hear Ray go through his 2 songs. It was great! His song "You are the best thing" came out right around the time I found out we were pregnant so it's my song for the Dude. I sing it to him all the time. . . he is destined to be tone deaf the poor little guy. But Ray played it and it was so great to hear it, even over a staticy cell phone!

So you call it nesting huh?

I'm a bit of a maniac, but in a good, productive way. Last night I was up till at least 1am organizing and rearranging the furniture downstairs (it's not even heavy so don't freak out) so that all the tons of baby crap has it's place! And tonight while I watch Lost, I plan to rearrange our bedroom so that we can fit the bassinet and still somehow manage to have the tiniest bit of room to maneuver.

BUT one good thing is that most of the Dude's room is together. Isn't the crib stuff cute??

And then once you look around the room, you see that everything is in order and looks great. That is until you look down and see the HUGE paint stain that came from my gigantic swollen feet kicking a small paint can over and not noticing for about an hour. Nice huh?

Oh well. We'll get a rug or something, but it looks pretty bad. Good thing the Dude's eyes wont be able to focus that far for a while!

The big turtle pillow is taunting Daisy. She thinks it's alive and keeps poking it with her nose and waiting for it to play with her! But I don't want her messing up the turtle so I gave her a little stuffed sheep that I got free at Christmas from Bath and Body Works. She has been carrying this dang sheep around for a week now. I thought it would be in shreds, but I think she loves it. It's so cute I can't even stand it.

Bye Bye Bathroom . . .

Finally. Our leaky, moldy, ugly, out of date bathroom was ripped out this past weekend and the rehab has started! Phil, with the help of Ryan, Eduardo and Gerardo (spelling may be incorrect, but I dont think they read the blog so I'm ok), gutted the bathroom completely. But don't worry, Phil isn't putting it back together. We hired a professional for that! I'm a little worried about the paint color I picked. . . It might look like orange soda exploded. The bathroom is going to be "my" bathroom now - where I get ready in the morning. If I come out of the house looking like an Umpa-Lumpa, you'll know that maybe the orange I picked out for the walls was a bit much.

During the rehab, we are staying with Larisa and Ryan for 2 weeks just like last year when we had to rip out all our floors and get our house jacked up so we wouldn't fall through the floor to our death. Strangely enough, it's the same 2 week period as last year! Unfortunately, I am NOT very fun company these days. Last year, I would get home and Larisa was only a few minutes behind me and within an hour we would have at least one drink (usually a margarita) in us! Now, no drinking, well on my part anyway. And I am so dang grumpy! I know I am miserable to be around and I can't seem to help it. Between the insane heartburn that has be eating 20+ TUMS a day to no avail, and the back pain, I am a pain in everyone elses back!

What can ya do? Only 8 weeks to go. Thank GOD! As soon as the bathroom is complete - probably by next Friday - We have to get moving on Dude's room. Painting, organizing, and putting the crib together. At least Phil and I get to go on a date this weekend. All we have talked about in the last few months are bathrooms and baby and I forget what real conversation is like! It's already happened and Dude's not even here yet! We're going to work on that.

I'll post belly pics soon, it's been a few weeks, but it looks the same - just way bigger and heavier and harder and lumpier and kickier and heart-burnier. :)

Rock-a-Bye Baby!

So we have officially started the madness that is putting together baby furniture! I actually LOVE putting things together. I feel as though I have accomplished something, and I think I'm kinda good at it, if I do say so myself :)

We picked up our Glider/rocker and ottoman this weekend and I successfully assembled it. I like it a lot! I think it's going to go great in the baby room - if it fits. We have yet to start putting Dude's things in his room because we are hopefully re-doing our hazardous bathroom this month and don't want it to get dry wall dust all over the new stuff. So for now, it sits downstairs.

The rest of the baby furniture is being delivered this Thursday. We won't be putting that together any time soon though - at least not until the bathroom is finished - so to the basement it will go!

We did find and officially decide on the nursery decor. . .

It's from GapBabyHome. Who knew Gap had stuff like this? It's the preppiest thing I've ever seen, but I think it's so freaking cute! I think it'll go great with the dark wood we chose for the furniture. I LOVE it. I had been back and forth every other day between this sailboat thing I found at Pottery Barn Kids and kept looking for other things because I didn't love it. It's a good thing I kept looking because this is perfect!

Now that I've exhausted all the energy I had writing this - I'm going to go lay down!

Ciao

28 weeks and growing

So today I am officially 28 weeks! AHHH!

The third trimester has brought me more heartburn and familiar fatigue that has been gone since around week 11. Ugh. I am definitely dragging, but the Dude is moving around more than ever! (So thats where my energy went!) The problem is that he seems to take after Phil and enjoy the mornings. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not functional or pleasant to be around until I have been awake for several hours allowing time for the necessary double shot, sugar-free vanilla, skim latte. Dude and I are going to clash if this morning thing continues!! At least he is letting me get sleep at night though. Around 7 every morning I wake up to my alarm (which is snoozed for about 45 minutes) and as soon as my eyes open, Dude "hits the ground running" - or would if he could.

This coming week is my glucose test at the Dr. which I hear is pretty gross, like drinking syrup. Yum . . .

The Mommy Boat - aka my car - is doing well. I miss my Mini terribly. TERRIBLY!! Every other Camry on the road is driven by someone collecting social security. I keep telling myself that it's comfortable, it's safe, and hopefully it will feel less huge when it is full of all the baby crap that is soon to come! Hopefully.

I'll end with a ridiculous picture of the belly. Beware - it's frightening!

Belly pics

Here is the most recent belly pic. . . YIKES!

26 weeks 3 days and GROWING!! Come on third trimester!!

Since most of the other belly shots have been posted only to facebook, I'll upload them here so everyone can see the expanding extravaganza!

17 weeks. . . And I thought that was bad.

18 weeks . . .

19 weeks . . .

22 weeks . . .

It really is crazy to see the difference. I'm not looking forward to seeing how big the next few months get! But it's worth it ;)