two

Two years. Its strange to think it feels so long ago and feels like it was yesterday all at the same time. And I dont even really know what my feelings are about it this year. For once, I'm not quite sure what to write. 


And the fact that Phil is in the hospital and having more surgeries on his knee instead of here with us makes my thoughts that much more foggy. An infection at the site of his ACL repair done 11 days ago caused us to run to the ER yesterday where we (well, he) stayed for 11 hours until they admitted him and found him a room. After a tap of his knee (read: big ass needle stuck in his knee - without lidocaine - and removal of a huge syringe of fluid) they were able to determine he in fact had an infection and would need 2 surgeries 48 hours apart to flush the knee from any infection. Minimum 5 day hospital stay. The chances of this happening are 0.8%. But the classic Boyer luck (or obvious lack there of) strikes again! 


And of course it had to happen on the 26th. We couldn't make it to Henry's grave. I know it's ok and we will get there as a family the next possible chance we get. But I know it means a lot to Phil to be there on Henry's birthday. All I want is for him to start to feel better, start to heal and be able to move around on some kind of normal level. I'll fully admit, I partly want that for my sake, but I really want it so that  he can play with Sam like he used to again. If Sam were a few months old, he could still hold him, play with him, lay with him. But there is no stopping Sam most of the time. If you're playing with him, you are likely on your feet chasing him, following him around, running up and down the stairs, etc. I know Phil misses that right now more than I can fully understand. 


We already miss him and it's going to be a long week without him here. But his buddies are going to do what they do. Sit and wait by the window, watching for Daddy to come home so they can greet him with jowls that curl at the corners into a smile and a wagging tail and an arm flailing yell of excitement. 


We love you, Daddy.

And a few other things we have been up to this past week...

We play really well on our own, but we look to see if someone is near us every 25 seconds. . . 

We carry around random things all day. This day in particular it was an old tissue pack found in an old diaper bag. . . 

We walk around the house and talk as loud as possible and flail our arms around like it's super important.

We discovered we really like spaghetti. And Mommy discovered she really dislikes cleaning it up. But it was fun for all of us.

Thank you!

Although I haven't mentioned it in a while, don't think all of your incredible support has gone unrecognized! We have raised over $3800 already for Team HPB's March for Babies Team!! Holy CRAP! That is seriously amazing.

If you haven't signed up and want to, it's not too late! We are walking in Bel Air on April 17. Click on the link and follow the instructions to join the team! If you cant walk with us that day, consider donating just a few dollars, whatever you can. This is the latest update. Our team is the #1 team! AND my kick-a sister is the #1 walker :) 

Also, if you are in the area, you should go to Chick-fil-A on Monday March 28 from 5-8pm! 20% of the sales will be donated to March of Dimes!! You must bring the flier below in order to get credit. If you are interested and would like the PDF to the flier, I'm happy to email it to you. Just let me know! (meghan.boyer@yahoo.com)

Click the logo below to donate or join now!





Thank you! And I hope to see you on April 17th!!

XOXO,
Meghan

flying

{I am starting to understand how one day, week, month turns into one year. I started to write this post on Tuesday. Then life happened and now it is Saturday! But, I'm not skipping this one. This one is big. This one is about my bubba.}

One year. A year has never flown by so quickly before. A year full of unknowns, uncertainty, doubt. All of those things, fortunately overshadowed by joy, smiles, laughter and a whole lotta drool. What I have learned this past year isn't something I can even describe here. It's that feeling you always imagined would come hit you like a ton of bricks when you became a parent. People always tell you about it. But its no one time ton of bricks, friends, its a constant sprinkle of them that make your heart heavier each day when you open your eyes and your first thought is of your child, even though your last thought (likely only a few hours before) was the same.

One year might not be all that big a deal in the grand scheme of it all, but darn if I'm not going to celebrate it like it is!

We partied, we danced, we sang, we ate, we drank (some had milk, some had wine), we laughed, we drooled (ahem, Phil), we wobbled, we cried. We lived. We flew. Whatever wind it is that makes the time go by so sweepingly fast, I'm going to lift my arms and let it carry me along. Because it was a beautiful year. A beautiful birthday. My beautiful boy. Our beautiful life.

I learned the most in this last year than in any year before. Mostly about myself. About what I can do, who I can be, who I want to be, and how to get there. I'm not really one to give unsolicited advice, so I won't. But I do want to share the important things I have learned this year, even as a reminder to myself.

When people say you'll never know love until you look at your child, they are right.

When those people also say to you to "enjoy every minute", remember that not every minute is enjoyable, and you aren't a bad mother or person for thinking so.

Sometimes I need to just sit down because the feeling that comes over me thinking about Sam and what he means to me is going to knock me on my ass.

Pedicures are important. I miss them.

I cannot live without caffeine. Not even a day without. Not even a few hours past 8am without.

Being forced to get up early did not turn me into a morning person. Now instead of sleeping late, I'm just grumpy and awake in the morning, and still up too late every night.

Although sometimes Phil takes a backseat to Sam, I love Phil more than before because of him.

It really is possible to have everything you ever wanted.

Becoming a mother is exactly what I was supposed to do. I might not get it right, I might have to wing it most of the time, but it's exactly what I am supposed to do because it has undoubtedly made me a better person.

Having children made me love my parents even more.

I have more patience than I thought I did, but only for kids. I still have little for adults.

Putting myself out there with the blog, facebook, photography, etc, has helped me face my insecurities, some I didn't even know I had.

I'm pretty sure Sam's first sentence is going to have a curse word in it. Whoops.

There will never be enough room for all the Sam stuff.

I would rather spend the afternoon playing with Sam on the floor than doing laundry (wait, I think I already knew that one before this year - but it's an important one ;) )

I'm ok with the fact that friends and family will see our house messy every time they come over. My house is full of toys and random junk, and it is what it is.

I swore to myself I wouldn't completely dork out for Sam's birthday. What a fool I was to believe that!

Daisy is THE best dog in the entire world. I don't walk her enough. I don't praise her enough. I don't play with her enough. But she is definitely Sam's best friend. She takes a hit (or 3) and comes back for more with affection.

I might be a mushy person on my blog and want to go on about Sam all the time here, but in the real world, I still want to sit and have wine and talk about anything BUT how many times he pooped that day when I'm with my girls.

I love who I have become. And I'm ok that some people might take that the wrong way. The conceited way. Because I have learned that that was missing before. I didn't love who I was, what I was doing. And finding that love has a lot to do with Sam. A whole lot to do with Phil. And everything to do with Henry. And finding that love has made so many things possible for me. My heart is open.

So if I learned all this in one year, imagine all the things Sam learned in his first year! From learning that he had arms, to learning how to roll, sit, eat, stand, cruise, walk, talk, hug, kiss, yell, laugh, laugh harder that anyone thought possible, snuggle, play, love. He had a pretty eventful year. We all did.

So we celebrated.

Actual birthday we went to the aquarium to see the dolphin show and jellyfish!

Happy year, sweet boy. I love every ounce of your little maniac self. I can't wait to see where the next flight takes all of us.