Karma

What comes around goes around.

Seriously? I think I used to believe this. Or I at least used to tell myself that it was true to make myself feel better when someone did something crappy to me. But I'm starting to think the saying is nothing more than a lie we tell ourselves in that situation. Because I really don't think Phil or I had any of this coming to us.

You've heard me talk (bitch) about our curse. And I am not one for self pity or misery. But I think I've had enough and need to vent before I can grasp how to move forward without negative energy.

I've mentioned quite a few less than fortunate things that Phil and I have made it through in the last few years -some more traumatic than others. But with the recent car accident (Phil had one this week) I'm beginning to get fed up. The cab driver who hit Phil is filing a personal injury claim against us that we may or may not have enough insurance to cover. Mind you, this is the same cab driver who immediately after the accident, ran out of his car running down the street trying to solicit "witnesses" that he would "hook up" if they "testify for him". Clearly this personal injury didn't effect his ability to jog, sprint, scam, flail his arms or move any part of his body. In the past, this is one of those situations where I could have said "what goes around comes around", this guy was a jerk trying to screw us over and he would get what's coming to him one day.

But when that thought crossed my mind this time, I had to stop. Just hold on a second. What the heck did Phil and I do in our past lives to have all of this crap thrown at us? There isn't a kinder more honest person than Phil. I know I've caused a bit of chaos in the past, but I honestly don't think anything I did was destructive to anyone other than myself. I must be wrong. I must have been horrible and didn't know it. I'm sorry friends and family and random strangers. I must have really put you through the ringer. I had no idea.

Maybe I was a unibomber, murder, thief, con artist, kidnapper - something unbearably horrible in my past life? It's not completely outrageous. It just might be the only explanation.

So now that that is off my chest, I feel like I can focus on how to make it better. No one is going to come out of the woodwork and fix the things that need fixing (literally the car, the house, our spirit). So, positive thinking.... hmm. Well that's tougher than I thought right now. I might need a minute.

Oh - I've got it. Power Ball! We are SO going to win Power Ball now that it's come to Maryland! It's the light at the end of our very dark tunnel! Our train of misfortune has crashed my friends!

Wow I feel better now that the problem is solved!

As I was just now about to hit the post button and be done with this negative sarcastic post, Bubba kicked in (literally) his 2 cents. And in doing so, he reminded me that there's so much more to be positive and hopeful about. That all of the bad things are just things and just like every other time, this too shall pass. The real light at the end of our tunnel is coming on or around March 13. Bubba just now gave my spirit the kick - or punch I'm not sure which - it needed to get back on track. Our train is not full of misfortune. It is hopeful. Misfortune is getting off the next stop. So now that I think about it, please God, don't crash our train. I think it's going somewhere great, and I want to be there for every stop along the way, with Phil by my side.

More WOW, and a few OWs too...

If only I could videotape whats going on inside my alien belly right now you would understand the few OWs part! At 32 weeks 3 days, Bubba is already very ornery. Go figure, I don't know what side of the family he got that from?? (Thanks dad.) The butt juts, bladder olympics (I call it that partly because of the boxing match Bubba has ongoing with the bladder but mostly because of the sprints I have to do every few minutes when he gets a good punch in and I think I'm going to loose it), high fives (Phil had his first tiny high five the other night) - all show me though that he is just rockin and rollin in there. Good and healthy and strong. Braxton hicks hit every night and sometimes during the day too. They aren't painful so much, just definitely weird. And I'm thinking I need to get an exercise ball. Yes I will most DEFINITELY need it around 6 weeks after he arrives, but I need it now just to sit on. In the past I mentally (sometimes audibly) made fun of those pregnant women in the past...you know, the ones who think that bouncing on that dang ball will make them go into labor naturally and easily without meds, tearing or pain. Silly women. No I haven't converted to that school of thought - I'm still cynical and realistic! I fully expect pain, drugs and the full Monty. I need that stupid ball just so I can sit without pain now. And it's easier to get up off it than it is our gigantic over sized couch.

This pregnancy is turning out so far to be pretty different from the last. I welcome those differences. As crazy as I thought Henry was in there, I can already tell the character this bubba is going to be. Last time at 32 weeks, I was so busy putting things away, decorating, cleaning like a banshee. This time - well there is no energy for that. I'm just trying to make it until February 19 - my last day of work. Once I can have time during the day to do a few things here and there, I will be ok.

Now for the WOWs! I got a phone call today from the March of Dimes. I'm sure they call every team captain and say "thanks" and "wow you've raised so much" etc etc. But I really think Team HPB deserves the kudos! We DO have a huge team that is going to walk, and we have raised over $2,000! Remember my original goal was $1,500?? It's now $2,500 and April is a long way away! I am truly amazed at everyone's support especially during hard times. There are so many people and organizations that need support, especially with the unbelievable situation in Haiti right now. March of Dimes is supporting the urgent need for assistance to babies and pregnant women in Haiti. Check out the press release. What a great organization.

Thanks again to all. And Bubba says thanks too (actually all he says right now is "gulp gulp kick kick punch", but you get my drift).  ;)

Wow.

So earlier this week when I set up Henry's team for March of Dimes' March for Babies, I had no idea what to expect. I set the team goal for $1500 total since I have never run a team for anything before I didn't know what to expect to raise. I thought $1500 was a good amount and I would feel really good if we could raise that much money for the cause in Henry's name.

Within 2 days of starting Henry's team, my incredible friends and family have come together to raise over $1350. I think it's safe to say that we will FAR surpass my now measly goal! Especially with 3 months left until the walk.

The support is overwhelming and heartwarming. I can't thank everyone enough for already doing so much - only 48 hours in!

If you haven't joined or donated yet and want to, you can do so here.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

March for Henry

On April 18, 2010, Phil and I (and hopefully some of you) are joining with March of Dimes, March for Babies, to honor Henry and build support for the March of Dimes' efforts to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality. Hopefully with your support, we can use this event to raise some money to go toward this great organization and prevent another family from going through what we went through in losing Henry too soon.


Please visit our team page and consider signing up to join Henry's team or help us reach our goal by donating to the cause in memory of Henry.

Thanks so much for all of your support!

On to a new year - thank God!

Good bye and good riddance 2009. You were NOT a good year. In fact, you were probably the worst, most stressful year of my life. So long.

It is hard because most of what 2009 brought was bad. I need not remind you of the many shitty occurences that took place (but I think that it can be summed up in saying that we met the deductibles for ALL of our insurances, health, car, and home owners). I am thankful for insurance. But if I may have a smidge of "glass half full" for a change, 2009 did some good things too. It brought us closer together. It taught me to love the family and friends I surround myself with a little harder and never take them for granted. It brought us this new pregnancy (thankfully coming to an end in roughly 10 weeks, hopefully less!). It also brought me to find my passion for photography and start my own business. But when I think about those things that came about in '09, it wasn't "2009" that brought them, it was Henry. He brought us all of those good things. I think he has more surprises and good things coming our way in 2010 too. The strong little man who has taken over my belly (and my butt and thighs and all of my chins) told me so. I really do owe it all to Henry.

So as we all move on to the new year (don't you just love how I say "we" like more than 1 person reads this!)  I wish all of you a happy healthy 2010. And to you 2009, I wave good bye to you - with my middle finger in the air.