Gone By in a Blur

This is what i remember from this past Christmas weekend.

My weekend is about as blurry as this shot of our Christmas tree.

Christmas always makes me think back to Christmases of the past . . . Even way back to when I was a kid. There is a traumatic story about why I really don't like laundry and finding out the "Christmas Secret", but I'll save that so I don't ruin anyone else's Christmas.

I obviously take a lot of photos, not necessarily more than any other mom or camera fanatic, but during the holidays, I try not to overdo it. I want to be present, not just capturing it through my camera. I definitely still got some funny shots, which help to remember all the things that happened over the last few days. So many places, so many people, so many cookies, so many fits, so many boogie wipes, so much wrapping paper hopefully recycled. It's always a lot packed in to a short amount of time. But it's always worth it. Once again things will be different next year. Just like last year we knew Christmas would be different with Sam this year. It's always seemingly the same, but the little things are different. So even though I didn't get 100 shots of Sam opening his many many presents, I got a enough to look back and remember, "Oh yeah, this is the last Christmas before [insert baby #2's name here later] was born." And as each year gets better with more and more joy, I can only sit here excited for next year as I smile at the memories these photos already bring.

Happy Christmas.

Wow. It's Christmas Eve. How did that happen? All the sudden my world and brain slowed back to normal human speed from the alien rate it has been going for several months. And suddenly it's almost another year, I'm halfway through pregnancy #3 and I'm left puzzled. What the hell happened to the last few months??!

Being pregnant again has definitely stunted my brain function and having the busiest season ever with my photography business has demanded that it function properly, if not at a higher rate. So exhaustion set in and I feel like something else took over to get me through it since September. I'm not sure what; it's all a little fuzzy.

It doesn't really matter what or how, but what mattes is that I am starting to feel awake. The shock of how fast time goes is still very present. But it's Christmas Eve. One of the days I look most forward to all year. We had our little Boyer family Christmas this morning. Whether Sam had his mouth wide open because he was in awe or because he can't breathe through his nose it doesn't matter. The face was priceless either way. I'm warm, happy, and proud. Our little expanding family being together with blueberry pancakes this morning was all the present I needed. And Booger (my nickname for this baby) was just as involved in the morning with the Christmas jig performance after each bite of breakfast I took.

I hope each if you is lucky enough to feel as blessed and happy as I do right this very moment.
Happy Christmas.

Sam on Christmas Eve morning...already stealing Daisy's toy.

my 19 week belly...

Lounge act

On winter days like today and yesterday, I'm especially glad that Sam likes to curl up under a blanket and read, watch George, or be silly. He keeps me warm and makes my heart happy. I'm soaking in all the 1:1 time now thinking about how different it will be this time next year. I'll take all the lounging and snuggles I can get.

All iPhone shots.

Redemption

After Santagate on Friday, we luckily had a way fun birthday party to go to on Saturday for a fabulous friend. And she was kind enough to let rambunctious kids come, so it was perfect. Duckpin bowling is something I've never done before (and I guess still haven't since I didn't throw a ball), but Phil and Sam definitely had fun. The balls were just the right size and Sam even knocked down a few pins. He seemed to celebrate just as he does when he makes a basket. We'll work on that over the next few years. I don't want him to get fined when he gets to the pros.

"Oh, Hell No."

I should have stuck to my guns. The idea of Santa always creeped me out. I was soooooo glad last year he was young enough to get away with not going. I felt like I had to go this year. Like I would loose mom of the year 2011 if I didn't take him to sit on a creepy bearded strangers lap for 35 seconds so someone could charge me $20 for a crappy picture. So we went. And it was awful. Poor kid. He never stood a chance. We made him wait around for over an hour while we ate and fooled around and by then it was almost bedtime. Well into witching hour and just waiting in line he was going crazy screaming and crying and he didn't even know what was coming. I took him to look at Santa and he smiled and waved at him and I thought, "ok, fine. It won't be that bad, lets get it over with". But then, time came, the awe was over, and he wanted nothing to do with Santa. Or me, or Phil or the stickers and toys that were bought in bribe. Even Snoop Dog couldn't protect him. Yikes.

My lesson learned, I'm just not one of those parents who gets enjoyment out of torturing my kid with Santa. I mean, nothing wrong with it. But it's not for me. And especially since I'm creeped out by it, I'm MORE than happy to skip next year. I've already determined. Especially since there will be two likely screaming kids to traumatize. I'll wait until Sam tells me, "Hey, Mom. I'm over the trauma from when I was 21 months old I think. Lets go do this Santa thing." Then, I'll be all for it. But until then, I'll take Sam's stance of "Oh, hell no." (I'm pretty sure he said that through the screaming.)

At least he got enjoyment out of the trains.

Save it for tomorrow...

"Crap. I forgot to vacuum behind the TV stand again. Gross."
"4 sessions on the edit board, have to get 2 done tomorrow."
"We don't have any of Sam's milk. Or paper towels. Man I hate going to Target with Sam."
"Her boyfriends name can be Sean. Or maybe John."
"I really should be folding that laundry from the dryer."
"I think I'll make banana bread."
"Jeans. I should go upstairs and get out of my pajamas. It's 2:30 in the afternoon."

Just a few of the random things that clog my mind right when I sit down to relax. I've always been someone who can take a few minutes and sit and do nothing. Just stare blankly at the TV not listening to anything. Or even with the TV off, I'm perfectly happy to just sit quietly. Except that there is nothing quiet in my mind. I'm making shopping lists dreading the trip. I'm thinking about all the things I should be doing instead of sitting there. I'm coming up with the name of the boyfriend of my main character - from the book I'm writing in my head. It's never quiet in my mind. Most of the time I don't get up though. I don't go fold the laundry. I don't get out of my pj's. I just worry about why I'm not doing it. Or feel guilty later for ignoring every suggestion my mind made for how to spend my day.

There's too much to do, too much going on. It's too easy to go from place to place and before you know it the day is over. So sometimes I just want to sit and not do anything. Whats worse though - feeling guilty for just sitting and not doing anything, or doing all the things you need and having the day fly by unnoticed?

Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll do the laundry and get out of my pj's. Tomorrow I'll tackle that list. Today, I'm going to sit. And to quiet those noisy demands from my mind, I'm going to play hard with Sam. And let his ornery giggles and loud gibberish drown them out. Thats way more fun anyway.

photo catch-up

Well, I can mostly blame the pregnancy on my long absence. I slept most of October, and was so busy with work all of November. September doesn't lend any excuses except maybe just needing a time out knowing I'd be so busy in the coming months . . .
So instead of words and more excuses, I'll just catch you all up with photos from the last few months.