"4 sessions on the edit board, have to get 2 done tomorrow."
"We don't have any of Sam's milk. Or paper towels. Man I hate going to Target with Sam."
"Her boyfriends name can be Sean. Or maybe John."
"I really should be folding that laundry from the dryer."
"I think I'll make banana bread."
"Jeans. I should go upstairs and get out of my pajamas. It's 2:30 in the afternoon."
Just a few of the random things that clog my mind right when I sit down to relax. I've always been someone who can take a few minutes and sit and do nothing. Just stare blankly at the TV not listening to anything. Or even with the TV off, I'm perfectly happy to just sit quietly. Except that there is nothing quiet in my mind. I'm making shopping lists dreading the trip. I'm thinking about all the things I should be doing instead of sitting there. I'm coming up with the name of the boyfriend of my main character - from the book I'm writing in my head. It's never quiet in my mind. Most of the time I don't get up though. I don't go fold the laundry. I don't get out of my pj's. I just worry about why I'm not doing it. Or feel guilty later for ignoring every suggestion my mind made for how to spend my day.
There's too much to do, too much going on. It's too easy to go from place to place and before you know it the day is over. So sometimes I just want to sit and not do anything. Whats worse though - feeling guilty for just sitting and not doing anything, or doing all the things you need and having the day fly by unnoticed?
Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll do the laundry and get out of my pj's. Tomorrow I'll tackle that list. Today, I'm going to sit. And to quiet those noisy demands from my mind, I'm going to play hard with Sam. And let his ornery giggles and loud gibberish drown them out. Thats way more fun anyway.
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