Karma

What comes around goes around.

Seriously? I think I used to believe this. Or I at least used to tell myself that it was true to make myself feel better when someone did something crappy to me. But I'm starting to think the saying is nothing more than a lie we tell ourselves in that situation. Because I really don't think Phil or I had any of this coming to us.

You've heard me talk (bitch) about our curse. And I am not one for self pity or misery. But I think I've had enough and need to vent before I can grasp how to move forward without negative energy.

I've mentioned quite a few less than fortunate things that Phil and I have made it through in the last few years -some more traumatic than others. But with the recent car accident (Phil had one this week) I'm beginning to get fed up. The cab driver who hit Phil is filing a personal injury claim against us that we may or may not have enough insurance to cover. Mind you, this is the same cab driver who immediately after the accident, ran out of his car running down the street trying to solicit "witnesses" that he would "hook up" if they "testify for him". Clearly this personal injury didn't effect his ability to jog, sprint, scam, flail his arms or move any part of his body. In the past, this is one of those situations where I could have said "what goes around comes around", this guy was a jerk trying to screw us over and he would get what's coming to him one day.

But when that thought crossed my mind this time, I had to stop. Just hold on a second. What the heck did Phil and I do in our past lives to have all of this crap thrown at us? There isn't a kinder more honest person than Phil. I know I've caused a bit of chaos in the past, but I honestly don't think anything I did was destructive to anyone other than myself. I must be wrong. I must have been horrible and didn't know it. I'm sorry friends and family and random strangers. I must have really put you through the ringer. I had no idea.

Maybe I was a unibomber, murder, thief, con artist, kidnapper - something unbearably horrible in my past life? It's not completely outrageous. It just might be the only explanation.

So now that that is off my chest, I feel like I can focus on how to make it better. No one is going to come out of the woodwork and fix the things that need fixing (literally the car, the house, our spirit). So, positive thinking.... hmm. Well that's tougher than I thought right now. I might need a minute.

Oh - I've got it. Power Ball! We are SO going to win Power Ball now that it's come to Maryland! It's the light at the end of our very dark tunnel! Our train of misfortune has crashed my friends!

Wow I feel better now that the problem is solved!

As I was just now about to hit the post button and be done with this negative sarcastic post, Bubba kicked in (literally) his 2 cents. And in doing so, he reminded me that there's so much more to be positive and hopeful about. That all of the bad things are just things and just like every other time, this too shall pass. The real light at the end of our tunnel is coming on or around March 13. Bubba just now gave my spirit the kick - or punch I'm not sure which - it needed to get back on track. Our train is not full of misfortune. It is hopeful. Misfortune is getting off the next stop. So now that I think about it, please God, don't crash our train. I think it's going somewhere great, and I want to be there for every stop along the way, with Phil by my side.